We had a wonderful cacao ceremony this past Sunday, which helped me integrate more of the vision quest energy. I was touched by all the questions and interest by everyone. They wanted to know all the details! …and now to share with you.
10 out of 13 Nights of Rain!
‘Exceptional’ weather is the polite way of describing the climate whilst on the mountain. It is normal for it to rain 2-3x’s during a 13-day vision quest. However we were ‘blessed’ with 10 nights of rain out of 13! OMG! The 1st night, 5th and 13th night were starry… Interesting….
I’m fully aware, that if it had not been rain, cold and wetness, it would have been thirst, hunger, heat, mosquitoes, ants, and pain, etc…there is always a ‘medicine’ to work with on the mountain. Ours was the rain.
Piece of Plastic
It was the most challenging experience of my life. We had to endure 2 nights of being soaked to the bone and very cold before they brought us a piece of plastic. I never thought I’d be so grateful for a 6’x 6’ piece of plastic!
I didn’t do so well the first night with the plastic, ending up very wet and cold by morning. However, my desire to stay warm and dry during the night helped me refine my skills in ‘sleeping’ in a tight ball under plastic. The goal each night was to not allow any part of my body, clothes, or blanket to get wet, otherwise it meant an eternally cold night.
Calming The Ego
My biggest mantra was: ‘This won’t last forever.’ It was very helpful when my ego was saying things like, ‘Why are you doing this, you idiot? This is stupid. You volunteered to do this?!’ On the mountain, we are given a chance to push past what we think are our limits and open up to AMAZING new dimensions – it was so worth it!
Power of Prayer
As the days passed, the ego got quieter…what a relief… The prayers and visualizations I did all day, helped empower my spirit and let it lead, instead of ego.
The Good Stuff!
The physical discomfort and being in a constant state of alert for the pitter-patter of rain was the tough part. Now I would like to share the good part! I had 11 strong intentions that morphed into about 15 by the end. They changed, updated and polished with the guidance that came in.
One of my prayers was to receive a real vision, something I hadn’t had in my previous three vision quests. I was granted it on the 5th day! With my eyes closed, I saw my hands in prayer position, surrounded by a red/pinkish color. There was a being above me, dropping droplets of energy into my hands, empowering my healing hands! Beautiful!
I also had a vision of Black Panther during the opening ceremony. I didn’t know what that meant but discovered upon my return, it is about embracing the unknown….that was appropriate just before my vision quest!
Much guidance came in on how to create my own line of ceremonial cacao, about my amazing new partner coming in, about where to start exploring retreat options in Colombia, and a few other goodies.
Learning from my Mistakes
I was in auto-pilot/unconscious mode on the 6th morning and did something that I’d always done in a certain way. The result was not good. I was really annoyed with myself for about 10 minutes until I stopped the ego and decided to see what the lesson was. It was simply – take the time to look at this situation (and others) from another angle or perspective – so simple. How could you do it differently?
Boom! In came guidance to rest with my head lower than my hips. This was AMAZING guidance! I flipped my position and immediately the pain from my bulging disc, that I’d been enduring for the past six days, stopped! It alleviated the weight from that area and allowed me to be pain-free for the remaining 7 days of sleeping and sitting on the hard ground. Plus, I now have this wonderful technique to do when my back hurts. Wow!
The insects talked to me also. I saw 3 caterpillars: One during the opening ceremony, one on my altar on the first morning on the mountain, and one hanging from its little thread floating in the air on the fifth day. At night I curled up in my blanket, scrunched up within the plastic, like a caterpillar in a cocoon…I took this as a metaphor that I was in the transformational stage and when I came down the mountain I would turn into the butterfly! Yes!
Going hand and hand with that, was the sense of initiation. All shamans go through initiations, of which they are never easy. One of my intentions was/is: I’m a powerful, strong, humble leader, chocolate shaman and healer. Since it was so challenging, seeing it as an initiation made it easier to accept the excessive discomfort.
Normally I don’t dream a lot. However, because I didn’t sleep much or very deeply, the dream state was more prominent. On the 12th night, I had a dream that I drowned and woke up just as I realized I was going to die. I’m still discovering what this signifies…death/rebirth? Past life? I’m awaiting clarity on this one.
Another dream showed me a shaman/witch standing next to a huge, black caldron. Instead of a witch’s potion brewing in it, it was filled with blessings: love, joy, prosperity, community, gratitude, light, compassion, laughter, fun, magic, miracles, kindness, courage, strength and more! Beautiful!
Visit by Hawk
There are a lot of little chickadee like birds and hummingbirds in the area, but it’s very rare to see hawks. However, Hawk honored me with a visit for 5 seconds just before the support arrived on the 10th day. Hawk is the messenger of the gods, reminding me to be aware of the signals in my life – grab opportunities or use discernment to avoid the hazards.
Time to Sing in English!
Those that have come to our cacao ceremonies know that I sing in Spanish. It was a way to help me build confidence to sing ceremonial songs in front of a large group (talk about vulnerability!) A French woman came on the 8th day with the support and sang a ceremonial song in English to me. The guidance came in that it is now time to start singing in English at our sacred cacao ceremonies! I will learn a few for our
upcoming ceremony on Feb. 24th!
And one of my favorites was my tobacco. We are given tobacco rolled up in a cornhusk to pray with whilst on the mountain. In many native cultures, tobacco is sacred and when smoked, the smoke goes up to Spirit to manifest the prayers. One of the ends of my cornhusk was in the shape of a heart! I loved looking at that daily as I prayed. I smoked it at the end of the vision quest to allow all my prayers to be released to Spirit to come into full manifestation. Some already have!
I cried every time the support group arrived. They brought water, food, sang a song, and shared words of support. It was very instrumental in giving me the strength and courage to make it to the end. Plus, all of your support, prayers and good vibes sent my way helped me accomplish this big quest! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
I’m still processing and integrating. I’m sure it will be a few weeks until I feel fully grounded and embodied. I’m also now walking the path of integrity – the lesson of this year’s vision quest. I’m feeling blessed and so grateful for this challenging experience. It has been life changing.
If anyone is getting called to explore doing their own vision quest, I’d be happy to put you in contact with the Colombian family. They will be holding vision quest in Jan. 2019.
Doing a vision quest is not on most people’s To Do list, I know that!
However, I invite you to look at an area of your life where you can challenge
yourself, in some way, to help bring about a positive change.
Take some time to meditate on that area and on how you are going to bring about your own ‘vision quest’.
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